Blind Dating Culture in South Korea

A look at the South Korean blind dating scene.

By: N. Choi

I do not know other countries situations, but the blind dating culture is getting more common in South Korea. I experienced an exchange student life in China, and there I could learn the differences between South Koreans and the people from other countries. At first, there is this Korean culture of reading other’s face and trying to save my own face. So, they usually do not prefer to be in a situation wherein they’d have to talk with a stranger. And, even if they see someone they find attractive in the street, it is very hard to ask for his or her number. When I was studying in China, I lived in a dormitory house so most people around me were foreigners. But I found out this one unique point. Most westerners like to party and they don’t mind meeting random strangers. On the other hand, Koreans and Japanese usually don’t like to go to something like a party or meeting. They would always hang out with their friends only. I think they are very shy to strangers, (of course, this only my personal subjective analysis). So I think that this is the big reason why a case in which people become closer through natural meeting is less than in other countries.

Actually, I also have a personal experience of a blind date. The first time was when I was 20 years old. I spent one week learning ‘how to seduce a boy in a blind test’ on YouTube. At that time, I always talked about that topic with my friends. And one of my friends gave me a big tip. But the information I know is based on my experience and my friend’s. So it may rather sound like from a jaundiced point of view.

First I will explain how a blind date works. The first step is that one man or woman tells him or her that “I cannot bare this loneliness”. And then their friend helps their lonely friend to find their future lover. The matchmaker must consider everything about candidate, some things to consider are usually about academic background, height and appearance and such because the two of them haven’t talked with each other yet. So they have to select one who they think is the most likely adequate and matched for them based on minimal favorable qualities. Once it is decided, the man and woman exchange their phone numbers. After that, the matchmaker’s job is done.

Now, the man and woman proceed to talking via SNS (Koreans usually use Kakaotalk). Two of them exchange their first and awkward greetings. Next, they decide where to meet, when to meet. Gangnam station oo exit is the most common place, 7:00pm. After meeting each other, they go to a cozy and quiet place such as western or Japanese restaurant. However, the purpose is not to look for a wife or husband. So, most of them don’t prefer the very expensive places. Once they enter the restaurant, they have some time to get to know each other more and to become more intimate. And then second step is usually going to a café or pub. Most couples grow closer to each other in this place. The result is almost decided in here. If one of them wants to meet again next time, he or she leaves the other a message the next day. (Most of the time, the person who leaves a message is the man.) And if they meet three or four times more, they would decide if they want to date each other or not.

I don’t know about other countries blind dating culture but this is how it is in South Korea. Actually my subjective opinion about blind dates is not so good. I think gender inequality still occurs in Korean culture. For example, only the man picks up the check on a blind date. (It could mean that women have no ability to pay) or men usually decide whether to meet or not and such. Nowadays, there is a grip of the feminism fever in South Korea. Therefore, blind dating culture will be changed more and more. But personally, I think that friendship which develops into a romance is still the best way to go.